You humble Normans might not know it, but every week the biggest stars in TV, from sports to soap opera to late night, take part in a high stakes, unrestricted contest to see who wins. television that week. Bitcoin is pooled, bets are taken, and bragging rights are won and lost. At the end of this week, the cable TV actor / expert / evangelist who produced the moment– as determined by an obscure cabal that makes the CFP appear democratic – wins coveted honors and defends its title for an extra week.
None of this is true, but if it were, 12/12/18 2021 CE would belong to Rex Ryan.
It certainly wouldn’t be Rex’s first time wearing the crown. He’s produced doozies over the years, ranging from once yelling “slapd ***” on “Hard Knocks” to calling Amari Cooper a live “shit” on the world leader. He’s even stabbed his own well-documented foot fetish before. It’s nothing new to Tyrannosaurus Rex, but Monday’s double-meaning nonchalance while discussing Aaron Rodgers’ lingering toe problem was good enough to send Ryan Clark running, and it’s good enough for us.
So go ahead and stop the count. Rex Ryan, King Shit Forever, King of TV this week. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got to go and throw up until there’s nothing left to throw up.